closure

i am giving this blog a burial it deserve for 2010. so long.. eventhough it is not yet the end of this last month. so much to do.. so much to worry about. shitty things.

i wont write in here anymore. bye bye blog.

(-_-')
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but maybe i will exist somewhere in the universe.........

Lost and Found

It has been awhile... :
:
I don't have internet access.. :
I've got things that are occupying my time. :
:
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Arson Attack on Gudang Noisy!

From GUDANG NOISY BLOG - 28 July 2010 – Arson attack on Gudang Noisy! At 2 a.m smoke filled Noisy causing alarm to one of the people inside. We panicked and rushed infront with buckets of water to put out the fire that was burning at the entrance door. We suspect that kerosene was used to burn the plastic chair which was placed at the door and that it was definitely due to the recent incitement of racism in the local underground music scene here in Malaysia. The fire had burned most of the written statement on the entrance wall which reads No Racism, No Sexism, No Homophobia, No Alcohol, No Drugs, No Violence. One passerby who had witnessed the attack approached us after we put out the fire, divulging information on the attacker’s description. We now know that they sped off in a car which the license plat number has been obtained by the witness. This is a serious threat to the security of Gudang Noisy. They are sending a message that racism is still alive and burning. This was retaliation. We call for solidarity from friends from all over the world!

Dumpster Divers Unite!

Yesterday I was determined to fill my day with labor intense tasks. At 3 o'clock in the afternoon I've accomplished so much. It really helped that the night before going to bed, I've listed down the things I wanted to do. I made lists for almost everything before this but after reading Doris #15 which I recently got from Noly and Shah distro, I felt a fond feeling that I was on the "right" track. Having control over my own life. Not letting anything slip away with so much time on my hands. These few weeks, I was kind of in a honeymoon period because of this new found love. Being alone jolted my inner conscious to get on/over with this mushy limping feelings we let seep in our subconcious when being in a relationship. Relationship empowers when the foundation is strong. Sometimes we just got to be apart to realise that we're drunk in our own potion of love. We need to quickly snap out of it but not being a robot and let emotions aside whenever the moments comes.

Getting out of bed this morning was really a pain but 30 minutes after the alarm clock was hit to snooze a couple of time, I sat down while still not wanting to wake up. I thought to myself, if I wasn't going to follow my own plans of the day which is not to serve anyone and go to work for someone else but myself, I would feel horrible and failed. So I jumped out of bed. Sore neck. Sleepy.

Whenever I'm home, I don't shower when not neccessary. So instead, I wrote on my list that I will wash my clothes the first thing upon rising. Part of it maybe to be in contact with water. To allow my body to be alert. I soon realise that washing towels manually using these bare hands is damn hard and tiring! It took alot of strength to squeez the water out of these fabric. They are etremely heavy when soaked. I was showering with my own sweat. It was awesome.

*~DUMPSTER DIVING~*

Last week, me and Arip went to the local wet market behind Noisy to scout for vegetables in the dumpster. We made a mistake and came too early about 10 a.m where the vegetables were still on sale and not many were discarded. So we went back and waited. At about 12.30 noon we came back but the garbage truck had taken away the discarded vegetables. We only managed to find the last stack of vegetables wrapped in plastic bags which the last vegetable stall discarded. A fellow scavenger, an old Chinese auntie in her 50s who was also at the dumpster site, tipped us off that the best time to come and dumpster dive is at 11a.m before the garbage truck takes them.

So out with another attempt! Yesterday I had gone to the market at about 11.30a.m to try my luck but the garbage truck was already there. I cycled around the market to find the remaining vegetable stalls that were not yet closed and found a nice Chinese aunty with still loads of vegetables on her table. I bought some chillies, ginger, and petai so that I could communicate with her. I asked about the vegetables on the ground of her stall whether they were going to be thrown away. Suprisingly, she said some of the unsellable vegetables will be sold to restaurants with cheap prices. In my head I thought, owh! the might been thrown away vegetables are served in possibly posh restaurants where posh people dine not knowing that their vegetables are the same quality (near dumpstered vegetables) as our free food we gave to the homefree and poor people. heh~ or maybe she sold it to normal mamak restaurant kot.

Anyway, I told her of our plan to set up a free food distribution chapter in this vicinity. We need loads of free vegetables. Then she said sometimes she gave her leftover vegetables to someone living nearby too. She generously gave away her vegetables and totally support the idea of free food. Now we got loads of tomatoes, lady's fingers, cucumbers, long beans, some chillies. Enough to feed easily 30 people or more. The bag was so heavy that I had to send back my bicycle and come back to carry it by foot to Noisy.

I made tomato paste/sauce for pasta out of these tomatoes. I'm calling people to come and eat with me. We just need people to bring spaghetti or the like so that we can eat it with the vegan bolognese tomato sauce. Maybe (if can) also any ingredients (of non animal please) we can put in the sauce as extra lauk (i.e oregano, mockmeat etc). While we're enjoying the delicious food, we can also discuss on how we can cook together next time and distribute food on the street. We can bring our party outside!

I've just got an sms from Ekin inviting me to do some scavenging / hijacking? one night market. I'm bringing the food there so we can eat together.. (^_^)

Window Farming

Today I've been doing research on how to kick start a garden at Noisy nanti, and I found this. Gila awesome! Here's some info about the benefits. Next project!!

Teen shooting: Two sides of the same story

MalaysiaKini - The statement by Azamuddin Omar, who was in the car driven by Aminulrasyid Amzah when he was shot dead by police on April 26, has put into dispute the police version of what had transpired.

Selangor police chief Khalid Abu Bakar (left), who told reporters the police side of the story, has described the boy's move to speak to the media as "unethical".

Likewise, the inspector-general of Police Musa Hassan has also deemed it inappropriate.

Malaysiakini compared the police's immediate statement on the day of the shooting with that of several witnesses, including 15-year-old Azamuddin's.

THE CHASE

Police version: Khalid told Utusan Malaysia that two police officers spotted a "suspicious" Proton Iswara at Section 14 of Shah Alam.

He said that the driver of the car ignored the police signal to stop, and sped off instead, upon which the officers gave chase, with the assistance of two other officers in another patrol car.

New Straits Times reported that the police managed to corner the car after beating several red lights.

The panel headed by Deputy Home Minister Abu Seman Yusop yesterday traced back what they claimed to be a 6km car chase from Section 7 to Section 11.

Witness version: At the press conference Azamuddin claimed that they were on the way to restaurant Ali Corner in Section 7 Shah Alam to help a friend whose motorcycle had a flat tyre.

"But on the way they grazed another car, causing Aminulrasyid to panic. He wanted to go back to Section 11 (where the boy lived)," he said.

He added that a few men on motorcycles, presumably friends of the owner of the car they grazed, pursued them.

In his police report lodged the night after the incident, the witness said that one of the motorcyclists attempted to overtake the car near Bulatan Kayangan at Section 12 (see map).

Instead the motorcyclist knocked the back of the Iswara and fell off his machine.

"Aminulrasyid grew more frightened and sped up without caring about our own or the public's safety," he said in the report.

He told reporters that they had "gone around in circles" during the chase.

THE SHOOTING

Police: "When we arrived at the scene of the incident the officers fired at the tyres to force the car to stop. The car then crashed onto the side of the road," Khalid said.

He added that only one officer opened fire and only four shots were discharged, one of which hit Aminulrasyid on the head.

Witness: Yesterday, the police called Azamuddin (right) for the third time and asked him to confirm if the last shot was fired before or after the crash.

"The police pursued us until the Caltex petrol station and started firing," Azamuddin said.

The teenager added that they managed to shoot the tyres of the car at the corner of Jalan Tarian and Jalan Wau, some 500 metres from the deceased's home, causing the vehicle to swerve uncontrollably.

One of the bullets fired hit the 14-year-old driver's head.

"His body fell onto my lap but his foot was still on the accelerator so the car continued to move and we crashed into a wall," he said, causing police to continue shooting.

However, in his police report the Form Three student said: "The last shot I heard hit Aminulrasyid (left) in the head... and I saw there was a hole oozing blood at the back of his head."

When asked by police yesterday, Azamuddin said that the last shot was fired when the car was still moving.

The New Straits Times reported that a source familiar with the case 20 shots were fired but only about 10 bullet casings were found along the alleged 6km chase, with most hitting the bottom of the car.

THE CRASH

Police: "After the crash, (Aminulrasyid)'s friend opened the door of the car and ran off while chased by two patrol officers," said Khalid, of the incident which took place around at 2am.

The other two officers proceeded to inspect the condition of the driver when he attempted to reverse onto them.

"Caught by surprise by the suspect's move to defend himself, the police officers shot in his direction," he told Utusan Malaysia.

Witness: Azamuddin told the Aminulrasyid's family lawyer Karpal Singh that he had climbed out of the back passenger window to surrender after the crash, which took place about 200 metres from Aminulrasyid's home.

"The window was shattered from the crash," he told Karpal, adding that at that point the officers had trained their firearms on him.

"One of them kicked me in the head and they started beating me up," he said, adding that there were about five or six officers involved.

He, however, managed to break free in the struggle and ran in the direction of his home, passing through his school.

Eyewitness Zafrullah Ahmad Zainal Abidin in his police report said: "I rushed out of the house and saw someone running in the opposite direction (from the car crash site) and the police were shouting for the person to stop. I saw two or three policemen in uniform with one holding a gun.

"Then, I saw one of the police cars making a U-turn to pursue the person who was (fleeing) the scene. After that, five or six more police cars arrived and cordoned off the scene," he added.

WEAPONS

Police: Khalid told the New Straits Times that the officers found a long parang in the car, believed to have been used in robberies.

Initial reports of the shooting by the Star also noted that the boy was believed to be a part of a robbery gang.

Witness: In his statement to the police on Sunday, Azamuddin claimed that there was no parang in the car.

The owner of the car, Aminulrasyid's sister Tuty Shaninza Anon Amzah and the boy's brother-in-law, Muzafar Mahali also said that no parang was kept in the family car.

Share Share Picnic

(A) REVOLUTIONARY LOV(E)

There's a surging feeling within me that I've made a contribution, one that really matters. My life is unique, and no-one else could have made this journey the way I have. The world is full of experiences. There are so many things to tell for those who are willing to read my version of stories and experiences. Some things must be remembered and shared.

Sharing a day breathing in each other scent while getting comfortable with each others skin. Breaking boundaries, exploring thoughts, studying habits, learning love. Planning our next move. Dreaming the future. Weeding through the past. It was a parasitic communicative act of the dire need to devour each other feelings of each epic moments in our lives. Elicit and consume.

Cooking is an essential skill required for vegetarians if we were to get complete satisfaction and nutrient from our meals. We get to choose the vegetables to put in our dishes (for me, color play important part) and mockmeat to compliment the overall texture. Spices and sauces are the key ingredient to entice the taste buds. Most people have false assumptions that vegetarian food are tasteless and bland. If we are willing to experiment with the ingredients, we'll find most of the meals we buy outside are lame and filled with unnecessary flavorings (MSG) and oil. We are raised to consume excessive flavorings especially from manufactured goods so much so that we find raw and fresh food tasteless when we don't get that blast of flavorings in our mouths (because we don't know how to make it so). We find food that are tasty because they actually had been flavored with chicken stock! We neglect the nutrients aspect of our food and we accept overcooked, prepared hours before and left heated throughout the day, fried, oily, over-flavoring dishes as part of our daily energy intake. We forgot how nature provides the goodness of fresh, crunchy and juicy vegetables and fruits ready for us to savor without prejudice.

Given how time consuming and elaborate preparing a meal can get, many people opt to enjoy their food at restaurant. But nothing really quite nurtures the soul of a family as a lovingly prepared home cooked meal, filled with the best intentions. Furthermore, cooking with/for someone you love is enough to add the sweetness on top of every dishes and joy in our bellies. (Rice) and (Stir fried broccoli, Chinese veg, mocklamb in mushroom "oyster" sauce) and (black pepper mockchicken) and (home-made bean sprout) and (carrot soy). There will be more...

That day, we experimented making sweet buns but due to inexperienced us, they got burnt. It was all part of the fun learning process. Baking is a new thing for us. Everything went well except for the oven's setting because we didn't know the appropriate adjustment. The buns turned black but the filling still was edible. Arip gave his friends the buns and they gobbled every last piece of it like starving vultures (even the top black crust!). Freegans!

Destiny is grotesque. If it wasn't we won't have this moment. Details of strange obstructions of us meeting each other at many events puzzled us. For me personally, I felt a greater force is at work. Finding the right moment to meet us. Now that we did, I'm grateful from the depths of my heart.

Meeting the other half is a gift. Falling in love is a revolution.

Our journey continues with burning desire of getting things done. Moving in a new space and recreate hope of a community, nesting new interests for our self and others, most importantly provide shelter for enthusiastic lovers and friends.

More baking, cooking, gardening, bicycle and DIY projects, music making, art, sharing etc.

Now is the time to repair, repaint, fixing, building, construct, and decorate!

(A) space of infinity.

Massa Kritikal

27 May 2010 - Massa Kritikal rides every Friday of the last week in each months. This month's ride was publicized fairly wide that two or three fliers came out to promote the event. I was informed by Arip early on the week of the ride as I did not have internet to get the latest updates. We had planned how I can get a bicycle because my bicycle is still in Hana's house in Shah Alam. Arip was too kind to help me borrow Salleh's spare bike. He even helped me fix the bike to make sure it works fine during the ride. There were some problems with the tire and brake pads. They collide with each other whenever the back tire spins.

The meeting point was at the mamak restaurant at Annexe, Central Market. Arip and I were the first few early birds after Zul, Prop and another dude. Prop was one of the documentors for the event. As cyclist came one after another, the number multiplied from 10 to 30 people, I could already feel the soon to be hypeness of the event's atmosphere. Fellow female cyclists came soon after. There were about 13-15 grrrls that stand out from the "mob". Yes we were the mob rioting out the boring streets populated by fast-moving-smoke-excreting vehicles.

I've missed out most of the previous rides but I'm really glad that I managed to came to this one because we had made herstory. There were 80 cyclists all together making this event the biggest ride ever held. We did not made headlines in the newspapers nor appeared in the 8p.m TV news because that was never the objective. We were aiming to reclaim streets and to wave and greet the people with our smiles. Making our presence known. To inspire and to spark tiny sense of awareness about how fun cycling can be as a form of transportation. Although there were no mission statements on banners that night, the number of cyclists that roamed the streets were enough to give an impactful and bold statement about our stand on fossil fuel.

That night cyclists conquered the roads. That night we blocked engine powered machines that were 4 times the size of bicycles (or more) from going faster than they normally would. We felt the city was ours the few minutes we passed by each buildings, pedestrians, cars, motorcycles, tourists, shopping malls, clubs, houses, restaurants and streetlights. Cars had to wait to get through the mob. Some of them were pissed off at us while some honked for support. Some even pulled down their windows to cheer for us. Some had taken the liberty to ask questions like where we were from and to which group we belonged to out of simple curiosity.

Actually, we had deliberately spread across the street and pedaled slowly to block cars from passing through. I think this was a good strategy as it made them slow down to our humble pace and at the same time share the huge patience we cyclist normally have when we ride our bikes on these dangerous streets. Busses were the usual road bullies. It is because they are big. It is similar to the animal kingdom where smaller creatures often goes below the chain. It was a vicious terror as these mammoth often care less about other road users. Lowered, modified cars with large and loud exhaust pollute the air with smoke and noise. A few did actually forced the cyclists to the side by tailgating them and after they had managed to pass through, they sped off leaving in dissatisfaction and anger as though their clubbing nights were ruined by these mischievous but nice and well aware cyclists.

There was one tall bike that night. It was Roby's white and green tall bike. I've heard this a dozen times... Friends had talked about building tall bikes. We've got space and tools to do this. Now we need to plan to find old or scrap bikes. Emm.. I want to join in to assemble the bikes. Nak blaja welding and make community tall bikes. Weee!

I remember how I felt that night. I was so happy and at the same time excited to be in the mass of bicycle loving people. I've never felt safer cycling on the road than when I'm riding with them. It was so relaxing that I got the chance to tilt my head up to stare at the sky and admire the trees' silhouette the foreground of lighted tall buildings. It was a rare feeling. I can see in the sparkling eyes of fellow cyclists and their glowing drops of sweat on their faces that they were really enjoying themselves. The bond of heartfelt solidarity was strong. We were street kids with a purpose to breed interest and spread our love of these revolutionary vehicle.

Cops did not hassle us that night. Maybe they did not receive complaints from any informed citizen. We were after all harmless cute bicycle kids. Hehe.. I heard someone said that if they were to stop and arrest us, they would not know under which offense to charge us with. We were helping the traffic to be less speedy and more cautious thus preventing accidents on that crazy Friday night. I remember Yuen told me and Hana on the way back from Sg. Tekala the other day that when he was in one of the Sarawak's village, the roads were generally in bad condition. In 10 years there had not been any major accidents because people drove slowly on those bumpy roads but when the government paved the road and made them flat and smooth, accidents occurred almost everyday. Speed kills!

As for the route, I was not sure whether they had pre-planned it or just following some of the usual crew. I'm not active in cyber space of late but I'm pretty sure they had discussed it online and informed people about the route. It was a discentralized event. No leaders only volunteers from the usual Massa kritikal crew who helped with security and traffic. It was necessary because we ran plenty of red lights that night. Haha.. I felt that sense of above the law the few seconds stopping cars from the other road as ours had turned red. Civil disobedience.

ERROR - Alak's chain fell off as we were about to approach Chow kit. A girlfriend cyclist, Ned had fell from her bicycle nearing Brickfields. But all in all, the ride went on without major problems.

Almost everyone had brought their gadgets to capture this herstoric event. This was the time to get every angle of everything. Phone camera works at this time of need. Ekin helped Karen to take video because Karen was sick with a fever. Onie drove Ekin. I think Karen will edit and upload in Facebook like some other people had. Thanks to all who had uploaded, tagged and shared the footage and photos of the event. You're all tots awes!

The last destination was Telawi food court where we had replenish our energy with awesome nasi lemak. We filled two long rows of tables and chairs. Macam kenduri pulak. Our bicycles were parked everywhere.. The place was not full as the usual weekend nights coz it was only Friday night kot. Memang meriah! I read on the Massa Kritikal's blog, someone suggested that the next ride it'll be cooler if we stop at some lake/garden or field and bring our own food to share together. I think that idea is awesome. It'll be interesting to share food made from each participants. I'm thinking soggy sandwiches, cold nasi goreng and dishes, cakes! and drinks. Kena ada panniers. It'll be superb to chill on grass and not have roof on our heads. Only Explosion in The Sky~ Haha. (^_-)

After, a few of us went to Karen's place for the next chillaxing and get together with close friends session. Karen's garden was perfect place to lie down because the plants provided cooling and ambiance feel of the night. It was open air. The neighborhood was quiet. The only thing that made the street visible was the dim orange street lights. It was very romantic as someone told me.... Karen's sofa mattresses from Thailand were the envy of everyone who visited her house. Memang best! It was even better when you have your friends and love ones to share that moment of comfort with you...

Thinking about the moment when we cycled to get to Karen's house, we held hands while riding our bicycles. Arip and I cycled to Shah Alam that night to Hana's house because we have a sewing circle activity together with the Coathangers Revolt geng the next day. We left at 2.30a.m. It was a very...... very........ very...... long ride.......... It was cold... I was tired and sleepy... I think we arrived at Hana's house around 6a.m because we got the chance to catch the sunrise together at the emo lake~ Everything was beautiful. Setiap hati itu dibelengu awan yang menutupi mentari. Apabila hilang awan, bersinarlah ia.

Young Folks

When someone goes to a certain extreme for you, you can't help it to feel really special. It was raining half the night inviting the two souls to converged and poured out their heart's deepest calling. Explosion in the Sky made the moment of quiet night where only the raindrops tapped the clock away. A clock that beats the multiple pulses of the earth. Hours passed by but yeah we didn't care. The only thing that was on our minds was this lovely magical moment with the person who stayed behind to share the coldness of night and rain. The greatest gift from the Divine. When we ignored the clock, we measure our existence by our relationship with each other. When our hearts beat with one another, we are having the time of our lives.

If i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me
if you knew my story word for word
had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me

i did before and had my share
it didn't lead nowhere
i would go along with someone like you
it doesn't matter what you did
who you were hanging with
we could stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you

usually when things has gone this far
people tend to disappear
no one will surprise me unless you do

i can tell there's something goin' on
hours seems to disappear
everyone is leaving i'm still with you

it doesn't matter what we do
where we are going too
we can stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you
talking only me and you

talking only me and you
talking only me and you

Hmm.. when did I changed? when none of this mattered before....

Rice Above #6

17 March - In the midst of this busy afternoon in a typical restaurant setting, I just got to start writing because I just gotta. I think have a long term memory problem which I could not remember details of specific events. I like to quickly remember details daily and write then forget about them because I have stored them in here. So more memory space for other things, more dreaming~

Yesterday I ran off from work to see Infectious Maggots, Kuchalana and Apparatus perform. I was very semangat that I've spent RM45 just for taxi fare to get to the gig. Come to think about it, that was really expensive! It was worth every penny because I've got the opportunity to see the old timers perform.

I got off at Bukit Bintang Monorail to meet my friend, Arip, but little did I know, the place was a fishing pond for corporation unleashing their the fishing rods (their workers/promoters) to lure the fishes (mass) to take their bait (simcards). I had just sat less than 5 minutes on the speakers of the huge billboard TV which were built in concrete boxes surrounding the Maybank square, then came the devils. Their aggressive approach towards pushing their services was a little scary for me. The communication service providers are at war with each other. They are competing to win handphone users to change to their simcards. Everything is offered free and special before you sign the agreement. Then they tell you have to pay RM50 by the end of the month for commitment. It was insane! Their promoters were trained to be vigilantes to push products we don't need. They were thugs in Celcom blue uniforms harassing an agreement out of anyone who bought into their scheme. I find it offensive but at the same time pitying the promoters as they looked like barely school leavers. I was trapped by my own sense of guilt inflicted by confusion and annoyance. I just wanted them to get out of my face and stop hassling with me. I had given into the evil that they'd seduced me.What have I done? Arip arrived while they were explaining to me about the package. I was practically crying for help. I should have been stronger and said no. The Corporation played psychological warfare masking behind their teenage employees who just wanted their cut of the commission. They will get their share while I got sink in the whirlpool of the marketing frenzy. I'm going to cancel the service after this.

Arip and I went to pulau where the rest of our friends were there. Cyclist gang came after we ordered food. I love Mislina's bicycle which Roby rode that night. It was silver chrome in color. It looks old school with new groovy futuristic look. One thing I like to do is cekeduting people's bikes. Especially odd bikes and when girls ride them. It is kind of a sense of pride to see them and at the same time I feel motivated and solidarity. Peng rode from Shah Alam. I was so happy to find out about another girl cyclists. Bicycles are the most efficient and socially responsible form of transportation. (^_^)/

Off we went to C&C. Arip and I walked while he pushed his bike. I wish I had my bike. The show was just about to start when we arrived. Infinite Delay was the first to perform. Bardridos was the vox. The bassist had some problem with his strap and awww his gf was watching him from the side of the stage. I saw them communicating with facial expressions and body language. He was performing for her. Definitely! He was facing her the whole time and not the crowd. I noticed this because I was at the side of the stage standing on the cushions to get a better view of the band. This was not a good spot to be at because somehow you don't feel the atmosphere. You'd be at the sideline hanging on the boat while other crew/crowd battle the rocking boat which the music was the waves and the bands were the oars. This was a different crowd all together. Loyalist fans of these old timers. A lot of unfamiliar faces. Someone from the crowd shouted "We want violence". Huh? Everyone ignored him including the band. Dah naik gila lah tu.

Infectious Maggots was brutal awesome! It was a special show because the old vox, Fathul made an appearance. Almost all the band mates had aged. Emm.. their drummer had mysteriously missing from the place and they took some time to call him on stage. Who knows where this father of a lovely little girl had gone to. Mesti tgh main dgn anak dia ni...

What else can I say about Infectious Maggots and Kuchalana? They were both brutal wicked. You'd feel their heavy influence on the crowd and their music were so mesmerizing. They were a little below older than my mom. Just a tad. Probably somewhere in their forties but they worked on those music machines so that you bite your tongue seeing them blew you away. Perfecto!

I had to go back to work that night but I didn't. It was too tempting to stay to see Aparatus. I just got to see Along perform because I've never seen them play before. Tak tahu lah camne nak discribe diorang. hehe sbb dah seminggu yang lepas. Ok lah... My mind was too much worried of the time to go back and did not enjoyed the gig. But I got to spend time with my friends as we shared the music! =) Kid and Niesa cycled! Comelnya crusty couple ni!

Animal Farm

15 March - Isn't it amazing what everyday of our lives bring us? When we get into a different environment, we're tuned in different mode. Sometimes we get passive, sometimes we get aggressive.

Work does do a lot to change your pattern of livelihood. It has been six days I'm helping out at my parent's restaurant. I am staying at the hostel with the workers. Wahh ada experience duduk macam ala squat! :) The hostel is on second floor of the commercial building lot. The rooms are compartmentalized into a few rooms which the walls are made from plywood, so every single conversations, snoring, slamming doors, foots steps, ringing tones, and simultaneous radio stations aired in each rooms are shared as daily music to our ears. *Sings Solidarity Forever*

Even though I do enjoy working and staying with the workers, I do terribly miss my friends, bicycle and internet!! Now food is in my mind all the time. I'm surrounded by food! The hanging BBQ ducks~ Ducks are the specialty of this restaurant. I'm struggling to avoid the temptation and politely turn down offers to have this rare delicacy in my meal. I eat tofu and veggies a lot these days instead. I'm so lucky that they have tofu. Having surrounded by food, I noticed that I'm constantly hungry. Drinking sugary drinks like ice Milo doesn't help my blood sugar level. It spiked as fast as it inclined making me more hungry than before. I feel stuffy. I'm the cashier and I get to sit on my job but sitting for 12 hours gives me butt cramps. I have to be cautious of the money flow and everyday I'm counting thousands of them. One mistake could lead to disaster. I always panic at the closing time because of the casual discrepancy. Where can I fork up the money to cover the discrepancy if there's any! Weekends are the most busy. Families come and dine together. On peak hours, the place will be packed with people from all over. People from as far as Penang came to eat after they seen the TV interview about the restaurant.

Music from my small notebook, books, zines, and some casual interaction with fellow workers are the things that make me stay sane through the job.

A few things that make my day were the customers and animals around this area. There's this one old grandfather who is a regular at our restaurant. He loves ducks. He would wait in front of the restaurant before it opens each morning. He orders ducks everyday and eats twice daily at the restaurant. He'll definitely eat BBQ duck on either time. Morning or evening. There's something about the way he eats those ducks. Maybe because of his age, he wants to enjoy everyday eating his favorite dish. He doesn't have all his teeth I think and he takes his time chewing his food. The precious expression on his face of joy and heaven having savor each bones of ducks. He would close his eyes and chew away. If the restaurant were to advertise on commercial TV, he would definitely get the job done right without audition needed. Mmmmm... kalah KFC .

Alive animals are seen plenty on top of this hill.(I said alive because there are plenty of dead ones in the restaurant). Fishes in the aquarium are waiting to be eaten. There are a lot of birds especially pigeons basking at early morning warmness. A family of cats come in and out of the restaurant where food is abundant as though claiming their territory over the leftover. Mosquitoes bred rampantly and flourish in the forest nearby. Dogs are taken for walks without leashes. There are three beautiful golden retrievers in this area. They run freely because there are no traffic. The most interesting was seeing a family of wild boars coming out of the woods! There were six or seven of them. It is my first time seeing wild boars. From the stories I heard, wild boars are huge but they are not. They are small and a bit fury. I'm not so sure about the color though as they only come out at night. I think they have poor night vision because they react only by sound. Everyone at the restaurant stood from their seats to watch these creature. Was these piggies convicts from the nearby zoo? It's a puzzle that need not be solved. Napoleon from Animal Farm does exist! haha

International Women's Day

9 March - Amnesty International Malaysia had organized a Women Reclaiming the Night inconjuction with the International Women's Day. The whole event was organized at Bukit Bintang. They had a march before the performances at Cloth & Clef. Two of my favorite band performed that night - Overdose and The Pips. Other bands and singer song writers were also invited. So were some poets. The place was packed with people. Diverse this time. A mix of friends and activists from NGOs and punks. A good mix of gender as well.

Hana and I came early so that we could beat the crowd for the seats. We usually stand but this time there was too many people. We would rather seat and wait for the last two anticipated bands we intended to come see. Earlier that evening, before coming over to the gig, Hana got busy choosing her costume for the performance. She had chosen a pale pink dress with a maroon tshirt inside. The dress was spilled with red rose concentration to resemble menstrual blood that usually considered a taboo to reveal that period of the month in a women's life. Shhh.. it's supposed to be a secret!

As we went out, the reactions from people's faces when they see blood stains on Hana's dress were priceless. We stopped by at a photocopy shop before catching the bus to kl, there was a young couple who giggled with each other and the girl covered her face as a sign of shame. Her red face said it all. They must have muttered something like, don't she know? Why didn't her friend told her about the stain? It was a bloody sweet heavy spill...... Yeah... it is her first day kids. Every billion women are having it.

I always find it fascinating that Hana always without fail try to prepare as much as she can for the performance to get the messages across. She would always prepare a few days before the gigs that The Pips would be performing. Panicking which costume she should wear. Finding words to recite to explain their songs. Constantly having panic nervous attacks before each shows. I really adore her~ I like bands that try to put in something new. Like the former band Ciplak, Crimescene and maybe Mossuraya from Sweden which I didn't get the chance to see!! Crossdress! Pheeewitttt! Me loikey....... Errr nudist? Hmm.. The demand for Crimescene is undeniably for their cute butts. Hahahaha.. sorry guys from Crimescene.. after the gig in C&C the other day, the fans totally dig your act of going nude. You were in the flesh REAL!

I hope someday I get to see bands in animal costumes! That'll be freaking awesome..

I had spread what had happened yesterday to as many friends that I've met that night so that people know about the issue. All of them were shocked to hear the incident. Fellow cyclist were outrage. And I do felt some kind of solidarity spirit when they gave me encouragement and words of disgust towards the mat rempits. Sexual violence is not a matter to be silenced.

Arip brought books about feminism. A thick book called Sisterhood and another smaller book about influential people like Emma Goldman. All this in the spirit of feminism. Sharing is caring. He said he talked to everyone he knew about the incident, ppl at his workplace, cyclist friends and his housemates. You're just so sweet!

The Pips has gained attraction from chaotic crowd to mosh with their songs. They sound more and more fast and their songs had become familiar anthems for the fans to sing along to. Imagine that... From mellow acoustic folk to folk punk. Gila lah!

Our dear friend Yuen had already pecah this time. He was totally wasted! His spectacles was smashed in the sea of people moshing. He couldn't get up at the end of the show. Somehow I do get a feeling that he is in some sort of emotional rut? I heard rumours about his mom's illness and that he's constantly worried. Adding to this, he is also having his final exams for his Masters. I hope you can cope with it Yuen. You are stronger. Everything will be alright...

Overdose, what can i say about this band is just TOTS AWES! The vox was really wicked! I saw a video recording of their show at Kelana Jaya and she was just so superb in a white dress stage diving! Comelnya! She has this high pitched voice. Sultry and loud. Heck! Heck! As she always shout.

I've always find it confusing when I look at stuff for sale. I would wonder which zines are good to read, which bands to check out, the endless flowing of new talents just amazes me.. And I always get that wishful feeling that I would someday put out my zine as well. I think I am a bit worried about putting my words across because for some reasons, writing does open up a can of worms and reveal yourself to the world. Maybe self esteem plays a huge part to get that zine published. Maybe I'm not punk rock enough. I really like personal writing and skill sharing zines. I admire Coathanger Revolt's zine. I feel the writing from kid and other female writers were really awesome. Same goes to Brainscan issue #21. The author writes about her experience with her former activist husband. She writes about power dynamics in a relationship which I could really relate to my own previous relationships. She touches issues of what her husband who seemed to mirror her conscience and ideals had impaired a lot of things on her emotional as well as psychological well being because of the underlying power dynamics in their relationship. Imposing hyper critical behaviors and lack of deeper emotional connection empathy. Egoism and self centered personality. Some people often forget to check themselves when they have advantages on their side. They are seen active and could easily portrayed as the righteous ones but when it comes down to relationship, the balance of emotions and to differentiate between love over power, they had failed miserably.

Get your own copy of Brainscan at RICECOOKER SHOP. (Mat Nor, ni iklan just for you for always updating new zines to me and in support of Ricecooker Shop~)

So we left C&C and got back with Aziman's car together with Boy and Kelly. Boy did not recognize me with my veil. It has been a long time since I last saw him. He was still with Nena at that time. I saw this Mass Separation's bassist/guitarist at the BuyAndSell website selling his bicycle last January. I laughed seeing his picture with him riding a yellow fixie. Masih panjang dreadlocknya...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz penat.

Molester Rempits Can Go To Hell!

My fingers are shivering as I’m typing this. My heart burns with anger. My left arm is bruised with an opened wound. My boob still hurts. I fell from my bicycle after being groped by two mat rempits (guys on motorcycle) on the way home. Those fucking morons! BASTARDS! I wish I was better protected. I wish I had carried a weapon. I wish I had been prepared. The wishes of victims of sexual assault. The burden are always on the victim’s who have to have this crazy mental guilt of not taking care of themselves well enough thus making them vulnerable prey and susceptible to violence. Ironically and sadly, this happened on International Women’s Day!

I came back from Petaling Jaya after I had a meeting with a friend. It was extended until 12 midnight. Yeah I know some might say that it happened because of the time of occurrence, the road taken and the transportation mode. Predators lurk from every corners of the dark to hunt for their meal. This was about power. Power over the weaker and fragile sex.

How can women be empowered and liberated if we were to be afraid all the time?

“The male is eaten up with tension, with frustration at not being female, at not being capable of ever achieving satisfaction or pleasure of any kind; eaten up with hate -- not rational hate that is directed at those who abuse or insult you -- but irrational, indiscriminate hate... hatred, at bottom, of his own worthless self.

Gratuitous violence, besides `proving' he's a `Man', serves as an outlet for his hate and, in addition -- the male being capable only of sexual responses and needing very strong stimuli to stimulate his half-dead self -- provides him with a little sexual thrill” (S.C.U.M Manifesto)

Earlier that day, I had just noticed that I’ve never had vulgar words or repulsiveness displayed by the road users. In fact, I’ve always get encouragements which I know were triggered by me being a female on muscle-powered wheels and not purely on the basis of supporting bicycling. When reading Chainbreaker, in many parts of the cities in the U.S, cyclists are seen as pest. Here in Malaysia, male cyclists are predominantly being hate as told by a friend cyclist, Arip. But female cyclists are seen as chicks that are easy targets for verbal harassment, entertainment for lame boring guys to make their day worthwhile from their lazy ass jobs! Somehow moving tits capture their attention.

I’M ANGRY!!!!! Resent in utter repugnance! I feel harassed and violated, if not vulnerable and weakened. I understand what Hana felt like when she was molested by an old guy in a bus a long time ago (Happiness comic), how Luke felt when an old guy (something’s wrong with them!) touched him at a place where he felt violated his boundaries in the train to Penang last year, how a friend had been molested in boarding school by his seniors, how women have to constantly fight off sexual harassments every single fucking days on the streets, at homes, at their offices, at gigs, EVERYWHERE. Hana and some of our close girl friends were rubbed over their backs at the Buzzcocks gig. Anna Vo from Crux had been groped while performing in Taiping and later found out it was made as if that was awesome by some idiot guy online. Where is our safe space?

Time and time again, this shit happens to us. So how do we fight back?

Going to the police was definitely not an option for me for this specific case. I was without an ID. It will be another issue all together if I was to launch a report without it. What can they do about it? Patrol at the vicinity? Tell me off that I wasn’t to cycle at night? Or is it just for the sake of record to identify that there are psycho mat rempits on the loose in the area? Mat rempits are EVERYWHERE. They are SHIT!

Hana and I talked about it and will put up signages and leaflets in the dataran Frinjan (i think this was the place the mat rempit saw me and followed me) and at the spot where I got molested (which another ironic thing, was the same place the police stopped me a few days ago). Maybe banner dropping, leaflets, and graffiti are the options we can take. Psychologically, there in this soft spot, had scar.

Community support!?

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SIAL!

I screamed at them but they sprinted away with laughter and throttled loud their success leaving me on the road fumed by their fossil fuel smoke.

I HATE POWER TRIPPING MAT REMPITS! ARSEHOLES!!!!

Demon Drive

I saw a poster a couple of weeks ago at the Allunan Symfonny Studio in Sunway when I went there to hang out with The Pips while they were jamming. The poster reads Drum Workshop 6 March RM8 1pm. I was excited to join so I did and had Hana to tag along. I really missed to see that it was Metal Drum Workshop. The word Metal was too small.. However, it really did turned out great. In fact better than what I had expected.

We arrived at 1.30p.m and we thought we were late but Kia (the caretaker of the place) told us the workshop will only start at 3pm. So we went to eat at a very special place in Sunway. The place is called Gerai Pojok. It has the awesomest Tempe Penyet in town! This meal is originated from Indonesia. For RM3.50, you'll get a plate of rice and 3 huge pieces of tempe (fermented soy) coated with flour, chopped leeks, some chilli and spices - deep fried. Plus a few raw vegetables - cabbage, long bean and cucumber. The special ingredient to this meal is the sambal belacan gravy that came with it. All this was served on a clay saucer. Classic for Indonesian to have this at home to grind spices and sambal belacan chilli gravy. If you order tempe penyer, you must order Extra Joss as this drink compliment the spiciness from the gravy. It is sort of an energy drink mixed with milk? I'm not too sure the ingredient. It comes in tall glasses. This energy booster set of meal is very popular amongst the Indonesian workers around the area. This place was introduced to me when I hanged out at Sunway house last year. Everyone who comes to this area MUST try tempe penyet and Extra Joss! For vegan and vegetarians, you can skip the gravy because it is made out of fermented prawn but you can substitute it with the sweet soy sauce that tastes very-very creamy rich and some cut chilli to get the same umpphh. Yummmmm!

The workshop started with Kia giving intro of the basic stuff. Metronome to blast beat to how to hold the stick. There were 4 presenters for the workshop. Each one covered specific topics. Techniques, triggering device for drums, progressive metal style, and recommended double paddle brands. The first workshop happened in Penang last year. There were about 20 people in the Heaven studio. Most are metal heads. We were the only two girl participants. The session was so cool and not intimidating at all for beginners like myself. We really had fun.

So what is up with Demon Drive? This is a very good brand for double paddle. It was highly recommended by one of the presenter. I had a taste of grinding away with this double paddle. Best gila! Adrenaline rush....! Drumming is like playing in the circus. So many movement, intense and wild. Tak puas lah main double paddle. It sounded like the war.. bullets everywhere.... the endless energy. Argggghhhh! This was way better than the gig happening at Noisy with the MOSSURAYA last night(haha nak sedapkan hati)

Weather Underground

Today I came back to Shah Alam after crashing at Noisy studio for 2 days with the Wild Dogs and a day in Ponyo. The initial plan was for me to cycle from Noisy to Shah Alam but it was too damn hot yesterday that I had to stop at Ponyo to rest at noon. Did you feel the heat yesterday? It was so hot yesterday that Ponyo felt like a big oven or sauna. There was no wind at all. The trees stood utterly still with their leaves hanging with no movement at all. That night, I fell asleep at the badminton court in the playground in front of the house because I can't stand to be inside but the mosquitoes feasted on my blood. It is in this dry condition, these parasites come out and hunt for their food. I had to come back inside and brave the stuffy hot air in the house after battling with the blood sucking insects outside!

There were 3 traveling girl friends who arrived at Ponyo yesterday. Two from Aussie and one from Ireland. They were friends of Wojtec. Cekidut~! Woot woot.. (imitating Yuen). It was Wojtec's last day in Malaysia. He's going away somewhere yet again. This international lover can't stay still in one place for a long good period of time. There must be something to do with his legs.. They appeared to be normal but I think he has itchy or squirmy legs. Hehe.. I know when you are so used to traveling, you won't stop because there are so many places to visit. When you get into the rhythm of going on various transportation, you'll know the procedures and fussiness which country will get on your back because of your nationality. Discrimination on citizenship, skin color, background and your clothes does play a major drama for travelers and the immigration. Especially when you come from third world or troubled country (i.e UAE - terrorism?) See you soon Wojtec.

We looked up for the Polish artist, Zdzisław Beksiński after Cem's admiration of this guy. We ended up listening to repetitious haunting music from his website while being blown away by his artwork. Awesome artwork dia... Post apocalyptic. Very dark and lonely.... Same as the music.

Another artist we checked out was Nikki McClure who did the illustration for the Off the Map's cover. I love her artwork!!! She incorporates nature from her surrounding. Mostly from her back yard. She does stencilling for her work. They looked like normal computer or hand drawn illustrations but they are actually cut out from black paper.. Tedious but awesome~!


Okay.... I want to share a story about my encounter with the cops yesterday. I was cycling from PJ to Shah Alam and I was about to continue my ride after stopping for a drink when two cops approached me at my bicycle. I was somewhere very near to Hana's house. It was so freaking hot and I was so tired. I didn't want to argue as I know I did not have my identification card with me. One of the cops asked for it and I just gave him my library card instead. He asked me all sorts of questions. I gave the infos he wanted as I really want to get going. The second police who had finished cross checking with a guy who was further up the road came and started to threaten me to go with them to the police station. I said that was not necessary because they can check with my dad or sister as they were near by. He was playing the bad cop in this scenario of interrogation. Giving the fierce look. They were kind of accessing me with psychological tactic which I know a thing of two about it. I was playing the innocent girl role. They wanted to check my bags (I carried a couple of bagpacks on pannier and on my back) but I said there were only clothes and threads. I kept repeating that I was on my way to a friend's house to do work (sewing). That gave me a plus point being in the role of an innocent girl. After all the drama, the bad cop asked me to sing Negaraku to verify my nationality as true Malaysian. I almost burst out laughter but had to control it and I sang a couple of lines to please them and they let me go. Power tripping I tell you.. Intimidation. Instilling fear. Grrrr!

What a weird day.. when I was having breakfast earlier someone gave me a CD cover with Saleem's lyrics. It was so funny.

That evening it rained and Hana and I went out to dance..... We took a walk behind her house where there was guerilla gardens and lake. It is a community space. People actually plant things there because there were so many land to grow stuff. Bananas, pineapples, papaya, and heaps of vegetables. It is a place along huge power polls. The road was in a really bad condition. Pecah dan rabak. Everything feels like being in kampung when you block out the sound of the highway and the sight of the police headquarter building from its view. Some people were fishing at the lake. When we reached at the small jetty, one of them shout at us to be careful not to fall down into the lake. They were using some animal's stomach as bait (as I recalled from some experience fishing with friends long time ago). We stayed near the lake until the rain stopped and the sky cleared and the grey clouds vanished leaving the blue background. Sparrows came flying from all over. A few hanged at the electric cables while drying themselves. We love watching them sit together in pairs and we made silly conversation for them. We head home and quickly showered to avoid getting a cold and fever which we did (a pinch).

After, we cycled to get some mushroom soup, baked beans and Tabasco sauce which Hana craved for some wild weird reasons. It must be all the talk with ehem an English dude. Hehe sorry no Tabasco for you today Hana. Small shops doesn't carry this delicate sauce. Try Giant or Tesco. Oooppss free ads for them. No!!!

Road Trip With Knot Records Fellow Friends

Sunday, 28 February 2010

It is now 9 a.m and we’re still in Taiping as I’m writing this. We’re at a motel called HLW. The darkness of the room made it seemed like it is still night time. I was awoken by nature’s calling to empty my bladder. I could not help myself to get back to sleep and then came the tingling feeling to write.

It has been a long two days trip with Knot Records fellow bands and friends (the groupies). Knot Records had organized a party gig for their fans back at their birth place. So The Pips, The Garrison and Pusher which had recently released their new albums came all the way from Kuala Lumpur to celebrate and bring The Rainhouse down.

I will get back to that in a minute. Just so you’d follow through the journey (if you want to).

Last Friday was the Maulidurasul, a holiday making it perfect for us to plan a detour to Penang before heading to Taiping for the party on Saturday. We had assembled at the Rawang rest house at about 12 noon. Marr, Hana, Karen and I went with Yuen’s yellow 4 wheel drive. It was a nice sunny weather. I can say this because we’re moving by car with the luxurious air-conditioner on. I’m happy and could not complain. I even managed to sew a few cross stitch patches along the way. The Garrison folks rented a van and they had stuffed about 10++ people in it. Sardines in can!! Lily being the only female drove the van. Hail salut! Ekin and Yoyo went with Onie’s car. While others in 2 more cars.

Proper servicing before travelling long distance with the engine powered moving “tin cans” is a must. I’m not sure whether it was jinxed or they were just unprepared, but almost all the vehicles had problems. First there was Nana and Apeng’s car and then as we reached Penang, Yuen’s conveyer belt fell off its place making the steering hard to turn. Once we reached Penang, i heard Alak said they saw a car swivelled because one of its tyre fell off. Sarjan Hassan could not make it because their car broke.

When ever I get on a moving vehicle, I will get some sort of nostalgic sensation from the past reminiscent of a baby’s experience in the cradle. This is a very good time to sleep! Sure the view was nice but staring at the window screen for hours watching the long endless highway clamed by the greens seemed too much. I think I’ll give this scenery a pass thank you.

We had arrived at the Penang Bridge just about when the sun was setting. The sunset view from Penang Bridge was amazing. I wish we could pull over and hang out by the bridge to watch the sun disappear...

We had dinner at a food court along Weld Quay and I ordered Laksa. It was automatically blurted out of my mouth to order this glass rice noodle in fish soup dish. When ever I come to Penang, this was the one dish that I won’t miss to order. Aww and I was practicing to be veggie... There’s still hope. Ekin, Yoyo, Hana, Cem and I decided to sneak away from the group and go to the jetty. We went to Tan’s jetty because it was the longest jetty so that we can get some privacy.

Penang has a long history of migrant workers. These jetties which are made out of wood were also homes to about a hundred houses of the historical descendants from China. Most were brought here to work with the merchants. They had lived by this sea for many years now. Their homes are now part of the heritage of Penang thus protected by the UNESCO after some of the houses had deteriorated and destroyed by the corrosion which the harsh salt was responsible. Maybe some were torn down by authorities but I’m not too sure. This close knitted community of Chinese displaying their culture and laid back lifestyle will continue to beautify Georgetown for years to come hopefully forever.

After deciding about our lodging, we head to Bayu Senja in Feringghi. I still remember cycling through the curvious road going up the hill before reaching the beach. This was last year March during our cycling trip to Penang. Although there were signages of bicycle lanes, the road was too narrow for cyclist to feel safe with the lanes provided. The sharp corners made it dangerous for cyclist to climb steadily up the steep hill. The thought of being squashed and cornered by buses or lorries did came into my mind while riding up the hill. I could only hoped that they see me and my tiny blue bicycle~ Upon reaching Kerachut beach, the distraught of the mind vanished like foot prints on sand being washed by the waves. The only thing that was unpleasant were the hot sun (we reached the beach at noon) and obor obor! (jelly fish) Btw, I’ve found out that my favourite snack when I was in school is made out of obor obor.. The round shaped squid like taste snack with strong spices skewered on sticks mostly made in Thailand. Do you know which snack I’m talking about? I really don’t know they were obor obor.. Cute obor obor........ Hana got stung by one of them when we got into the water. The ocean in this area is filled with obor obor. Visitors are cautioned with signages of these near fluid creatures. The cure for the lucky stung people was a plant near the beach. These plants were purposely planted near the beach for the brave souls to seek cure for ailment. The other natural remedy was to pee on the localize injury. [singing the Amazing Horse song - Sweet lemonade.. Emm sweet lemonade...]

So back to Bayu Senja, the place was like Petaling Street. This is one of the beaches that attract tourists with its night market, restaurants and bars. The place was crowded with people from all over, so much so that car parks became an issue. Nana’s car got scratched on its bumper while the driver was trying to get in the parking space behind Nana’s car. CAR PARKS.... THEY DON’T DANCE.

I think it was just the hypeness from the artificial lights and the colourful stuff being displayed for sale that drove people to this place. Adding to that, the bars/clubs nearby surrounded the beach making full use of this extra feature for its attraction. Their music blasted the night from its quietness to make it more happening. We on the other hand chose a spot a little further along the beach. A nice dark spot away from the crowd and artificial lights to enjoy the natural moonlight. It will be another day for the moon to be full but none the less, the moon shun for these punks who came all the way to watch it radiate. The shiny reflection from the waves made up for the clouds covering the twinkling stars. It was as if there were some festivals going on up there as well. The God and Goddess danced forming the atmosphere the surreal unearthly Armageddon. It was for those who are willing to see.

I’m now wearing the Ocarina everywhere I go. I practiced the Ocarina so that someday I can make some beautiful melodies for some hearts to melt. Though the process of learning and playing with it is a bit annoying due to the high pitched sound it creates. The first time the Ocarina was passed down to me from Yuen, I got crazy with it and Hana’s maid did not like the noise and slammed the door. Was I that terrible?? Huhuhuhuuuuuuu *cries inside* Ekin and Yoyo had a taste of addiction blowing this tortoise shaped instrument. FYI, it broke! :’( We also brought jembe and Sidh and other regular baskers had tried to entertain us but failed miserably due to being too drenched in hallucinogenic subs and liquid. They were all pecah that night! Alak was the first to take a dip in the water. Others followed suit. Some even skinny dipped. Cem had been pranked as he tried to be courageous to join in the fun to go stark naked. His pants were taken away and they said his pants were dragged to the sea. He really panicked and looked for his pants in the water. I know he never wears boxers or briefs. So that pants was his only hope. They later gave back his hope. :P

And then there were us, the sober homosapiens. I was lucky that a few people did not drink and had kept me company. Like Mat Nor, Yoyo, Ekin, Hana and Marr. There was something that I clearly distinguished between being in that state of mind of the other party than my own soberness. Being aware was precious to me. This newly sophisticated feeling had left me wanting to explore solidarity with those who are pro-drunkenness but rejects substances. It was an article in Icarus that had made me think about how subculture had been married with substances. Not being preachy just mere reflection. I concur with the idea that hallucinogenics are naturally produced in our bodies. We just need to alter our perspective while being fully aware of our state of minds. To be in control as well as let loose. The notion of having fun should be withheld from consumer culture. Vis versa.

We left the beach to get to Mr. Ong’s place. It was allowed to us only after 12 because there were other events going on I think. The place is a space supposedly a film club. It didn’t take me too long to snooze after a long day. I practically dozed off as soon as my head reached the pillows. Who cares my snoring.. Most guys slept at the Soundmaker studio on the first floor. I know they were terrorizing the studio without actually having to be there to witness it. Wehad to pay RM3 each as rents.. It was super nice of Mr. Ong to offer his space to anyone travelling in this vicinity. Thank you Mr. Ong.

Saturday, 27 February 2010

Today is the day, the day to party. I craved for rice and veggies. So we head to the nearest small Indonesian restaurant a few meters from Mr. Ong’s place. We were all too tired (spoiled) to be adventurous and go to Evergreen unlike Karen who walked all the way to Komtar just to get her cendol. I really wanted to go to Evergreen... I just wasn’t as enthusiastic as Karen to hunt for what the heart longs for. Plus I woke up quite late and dilly dallied to get ready.. It felt too much like home since I’ve already been at the space about 5 times. Evergreen is a vegan restaurant somewhere in Pulau Tikus. This place is heaven for vegetarians and vegans. Travelling friends from abroad passed this by word of mouth to their friends. Almost all vegans must know about this place. You’ll be spoiled for choice just by seeing more than 20 vegan dishes that were displayed. They even have all kinds of side dishes, desserts, and titbits. Some are organic. VEGAN ICE CREAM! This is a very rare item seekable only at few known places. Arrghh my mouth is watering already :P~~

Off we go to Taiping...

We reached there about 3-3.30p.m. We were the first to arrive. We quickly hanged The Pips’ pink banner which we made with lots of lurve. I took every opportunity to mess with the drums. I finally got the basic beats. It was one of the times where I could find to utilize for a drum lesson besides tagging with The Pips at their jamming sessions.

The crowd started to show about 4-4.30p.m. The show started about 5p.m with a local band Amieva. They were very young kids but pretty much emancipated the atmosphere of its long silent wait. They played screamo something core :P Sorry I don’t really know the categories of the ever complicated tunes. Yang pastinya keras. You’d get too much of fast and hard music that sometimes bla bla bla who gives a shit ya know. All I know they were loved by the locals and a few girls cheered for them. They were with so much energy banging their way with their music. The power stance plus the head banging while playing guitar, you do the math.

Aiyay yay yay yay (Mexicana sound effect) This aint a party until the phat lady sings. The Pips opened their act with Hana holding a candle reciting words of wisdom in Bahasa. They chose Dungeon as their first song. It’s about girls having to go through shit at the age of 13, the age of when the hormones starts to kick in and all the complicated bullshit we had to face. Nor was so excited dancing with her heavy belly covered by her green knitted sweater. Mar and I were jumping with joy. Almost half of the room was filled with people from KL giving The Pips loud enough backup vocals sing along through Ashes in The Wind and Change song. The Pips is a band that brought the red hot cili padi into this male dominated scene to give it the heat and burning tongues that it deserves. A Go Go Go...go go go go!!! They are heading to the garage era by bringing this Dara Puspita song to live.

Freygyle made their appearance after being inactive for 2 years (according to Hana).

Pusher and The Garrison.. The dynamic duo bands. Without these two bands the party won’t be as hype as it did. The Rainhouse Studio was definitely a good space for gigs. The space was with good proportion of size and well ventilated. It was my second time being there. The first was with Scum System Kill tour.

After the gig, we had a crazy photo session. I hope they upload the photos soon coz I need to steal some to delight your eyes with visuals to balance it off with these tiny stretchy compound letters. Soon after, we went to makan. It was a crazy long 20-30 minutes drive to get to the restaurant that was said to be known for its awesomest prawn noodle. When we were in the car, we were like this better be as good as the journey that took us to get there. Everyone was hungry after being drained in the mosh pits. When we got off the car, there were the cracking sounds from our feet. It was a sea of sea shells. Cem was tormented by it and called it a holocaust of these invertebrate sea creature. This was normal for having a seafood restaurant nearby. Hmm.. it was shit load of sea shells....

Everyone ordered something with prawn since it is the main ingredient on the menu. I was terrified getting allergic reaction just by the sight of prawns. I shared with Mat Nor mixed veggie and rice instead. My partner in crime when it comes to being vegan. I find it so cute about Cem being freegan. He’d find friend’s unfinished left over and ate them even though they were meat. Some meals are prepared too much, some stomachs were too small to fit all the abundant food, then came the saviour – the freegans. No food needs to be wasted. No rice toiled by our precious farmers needed to be thrown out. No animal sacrificed died in vain just to be thrown away after the plates of humans. Utilize everything....

Everyone went separate ways after having feast together like a big happy family. There were seven vehicles all together. Yes I counted. A few cars went to a memorial cemetery near Larut hill to get some fresh air while digesting the good food. Everyone had a good time.. Marr and I went at the back of Yuen’s 4-wheel drive to lay on our aching backs while covering ourselves with The Pips’ banner (we knew it will used as a blankie! the fabric is so soft). We were so lucky that it was full moon. The fantastic ironic view of a cemetery combined with the full moon which often made known in horror movies, gave the night its astonishing splendour for us to bring this memory back to Kuala Lumpur. No corps was buried here. At least not as many as the tomb stones appeared. A lot of the names written on the tomb stones were soldiers from India, Pakistan, Bangalesh and some white colonialists. They were those who had been killed in the 1940s war. The soldiers died too young. The youngest was 17 year old kid. I bet they were recruited imports to help the Malayan army back in those days for the Battle of Malaya. It is really sad... Their death is sad. The war that killed them is disgusting. This was fully expressed via my blue spray can. Grrrr!!! While being excited upon having leaving a message in the cemetery, I told Apeng that it would be great that The Garrison posed with the cemetery view as the whole band was present. Plus it would be awesome photo of the band if they were to use it for some silly satire album covers or something. Indeed the pictures had turned out great! Nampak metal sikit.. The Garrison must acknowledge me for this brilliant idea. Haha.. Here’s also the leopard who got lost from the nearby Night Zoo.

We split at midnight. The Garrison folks went straight back to KL. They have several drivers to rotate driving the van. Alak and Onie went back that night as well. Pusher and The Garrison had another gig to attend to at Noisy the next day. We on the other hand looked for cheap motel to stay and rest our weary eyes and aching backs. HLW it was.

The amazing thing about living in small towns is that the food is really damn cheap! We got ourselves breakfast at a Chinese food court. There is a vegetarian stall! Hurray...! I got myself 3 dishes with rice and it only costs RM3! Believe me, when I take vegetarian dishes, I would pile the dishes almost covering the rice. That’s a lot. We also bought some local kuih to snack in the car. Yuen got spring rolls and Japanese jello. Hana and Karen got themselves some charkui and another thing similar but with cinnamon added. Yumm..... Cem had to part from us here. He had to follow Bard, Shimi’s brother to KL because there was no space for him in Yuen’s car. That night when he followed us to the motel, he sat at the back of the car hiding underneath the pink banner to avoid being seen by the authorities. It was night time so it was okay then. I still can see you lah Cem! Hehe

I wanted to go to the gig at Noisy because I did not managed to sell my patches in Taiping.. *cries* I’m flat broke. Traveling does suck the money out of our pockets. Not to mention the petrol, the toll, and food. We were so humbly lucky that our far well off friends chipped in for most of the expenses for those things.... Hmmm...... *frowns* I’ve decided to cycle with Marr to Noisy because Yuen, Hana and Karen had a reunion with their old buddy, Yohana. So we stopped by Ponyo to get my bike. It rained when we were about to reach Karen’s house. Our bags and the jembes were almost drenched as we did not put on the covers. The rain was heavy but quick. Nothing like a nice shower as a present for us cyclists. We hit the road as soon as the rain stopped.

Marr is going away~ She is going to Sarawak to work for a month. The third sister.... this tough girl cyclist will be missed!!! Marr is an inspiration to me.. She rides her bike almost everywhere. She often turned down car pooling just so she could ride her bike. Hardcore! Most of the happenings are in KL. She lives in Puchong. That’s far. It’s okay lah Marr.. Like I said, you can always cekidut the scene there. Maybe bring back some hot gossips. You know how much we like them.. I received an email from her and found out that she fell off her bike after she received an sms from her dad telling her that the job in Sarawak will be for 3 months. Ape lah!~

The gig at Noisy was organised by Pirate Punks Bukit Bintang inviting their guest band from Bandung Pirate Punks, Majestic. They played rock and roll punk. They got keyboard! They sounded rich and majestic. No wonder Joe Kid like this band.. They were awesome. I got stuck watching band after band. It was my second time at a sort of chaos gig. The first was the Big Show at Shah Alam in 19--?. The energy was definitely different. Boots stomped the mosh pits leaving no space for the weaklings. Malescentiric. Most were well build dudes in studded jackets, tight jeans, braces and boots singing along with the band they worshiped. Plenty of vulgar words in their lyrics but with great spirit and intention. Going nicer won’t portray what anger is all about. Fierce.

After we go makan at Restoran Hassan. I got stuck again in between conversation as I sat with the musicians. Joe Kid and Sarjan Hassan band. Hearing them talk about music, bands and performances. I went back with Lily to her place. Had a good chat about our experiences with relationship. I thought it was a really a good start to get to know this tough girl a bit better. I ended up staying over for 3 days. Thank you Lily for letting me stay at you place for me to work (sell patches at gigs). I’m going to Cloth and Clef tomorrow.

There is an end for those who want. (taken from a poster at Lily’s room)

~*Something Shinny*~

We are often intrigued by things that we find shinny and it is always interesting to discover something new. For the apparent reasons, we get excited about somebody that we've just met......... (^_^) Getting out of the confinements of our houses was a very rewarding especially when you get to hang out with a like minded friend like Arip.

We had promised to meet at a park near Amcorp mall in Petaling Jaya. I felt so guilty because I was late for about 3 hours.... Not having a schedule for about 2 years made this so. My only alarm clock was my mobile phone which the battery had died forcing me to wake up with a sensible shock because I realised I was really late.. I could not take the public transportation because I wanted to cycle. Need to save money for the Taiping trip. I called Arip to say that I was going to be very late.. I was like a machine getting ready.

As soon as I arrived, he was laying on a bench reading the Chainbreaker book. He said he even fell asleep while waiting for me. I really felt bad! I couldn’t stop apologizing. He was cool though. I don’t know what was going through his mind.. I just hoped they were not anger and disappointment. He was too kind to offer me bananas. We exchanged flowers picked by the side of the road. I had always yearned for those pink flowers along the highway. Riding on a bicycle made it possible for me to pick these flowers... He must’ve thought of the same thing. Sweet.

We moved further into the park to settle under a tree. Ahh fresh grass~ We leaned our bicycles next to the tree and made ourselves comfortable. We could not wait to get our stuff out to share with each other.. Books, sewing kit, Ocarina, sketch book and tape recorder. We were like little kids sharing candies. We talked about everything... Interrogating as I like to call it. Getting into a friendship needs tending with lots of memory storage. So many things to ask and tell.

Arip is a sweet guy who like me, loves to dream of the ideal world we would like to live in. He envisioned himself living in a kampong house with a garden someday. He commutes to work with his bicycle from Pandan Indah to Bukit Bintang. He’s a vegetarian. He’s a casual smoker (ehem). He’s a geeky book worm who gets excited about everything. He was kind of the ideal guy who every visionary revolutionist girl would ever want (so typical of me to say this). :p Not at all being a cynic, it’s a sincere compliment.

We were two dreamers in a semi-busy town trying to find little hope of our roots with nature on a working day where everyone else was busy meddling their desks in their offices. Some did not have a choice. We were gathering puzzles that made us our lives. Trying to make connection. Interaction. Trying to make sense in our mere existence. Reality does not imbue beauty so much as these words conveyed to you. It’s with the power of words that we stand together to dream.

I had a very lovely time that I forgot that it was time to go. It was The Pips jamming session that night. I changed plans to go with Cem instead of cycling to the studio in Sunway leaving more time for Arip and me to talk. We cycled to one park to another. After having early dinner, we cycled to the playground in front of Ponyo. I had to leave my bicycle at Ponyo to hitch a ride with Cem’s motorbike. We sat at the table and talked more about ourselves while the sun sets its orange rays in between clouds and into the hills at the end of the horizon. When it was dark, we moved to the swings. We talked about plans that didn’t really been materialized because of financial and time constraints. A lot of projects with good ideas got lost in the busy life of seeking money for food and shelter. Maybe it will only take a few sparks from a few passionate people to get things going. I always believe that when you are excited working on something, you will find effort to make it happen no matter what. Maybe those few passionate people are you and me Arip. Let’s get shit done. We shall invite others as well. :)

When Cem arrived, we had to part. It was a lovely day.. Thanks Arip for willing to meet me all the way just so that I could have my thumb drive back. It is one of my precious belongings that I could not live without. Thanks also for the awesome songs copied in it. Hope you had an amazing day like I did. We should do this often...

Oyen

Ini kucing Hana. Dia sangat comel dan bulat. Nama dia Oyen. Dia manja dan sangat selalu minta dibelai. Oyen adalah seekor kucing yang telah didomestikasi. Dia sering baring dimerata tempat didalam rumah. Terutama di bahagian laluan utama. Aku pikir ini kerana dia selalu mahu perhatian. Oyen kucing istimewa kerana dia tidak sempurna. Kakinya tempang sebelah sejak ditemui oleh keluarga Hana. Dia mempunyai kemahiran mengelungsur mengunakan kaki yang tidak berfungsi itu. Dia akan berlari dengan pantas lalu berhenti dengan mengunakan kakinya itu. Mereka panggil teknik ini sliding.

Aku selalu tertawa setiap kali melihat dia terbaring dengan menampakkan perutnya. Memang terlalu selesa kucing ni.. Kucing yang liar tidak akan tidur dengan mendedahkan tempat yang sensitif ini iaitu perut mereka. Lebih lagi membenarkan manusia mengusap tempat ini dengan kaki. Manja!

Sebenarnya ada lagi seekor kucing yang dibela oleh keluarga Hana, iaitu kucing yang sudah bergelar nenek, Ami. Ami sudah terlalu tua sehingga Oyen sering menghalau dia ke belakang rumah. Oyen menguasai tingkat satu, ruang tamu dan dapur depan meninggalkan Ami sedikit bahagian di dapur belakang. Ami tidak lagi dapat mengawal air liurnya daripada terkeluar dan dia sering kelihatan dengan air liur yang menjuih.. Suaranya juga sudah berlagu seperti tidak bermaya. Kesiannya Ami...

Melihat mahluk lain adalah suatu yang istimewa kerana sudah terlalu banyak haiwan yang dihapuskan dari pandangan mata kita. Kita sering menganggap mahluk lain sebagai perosak dan mengganggu kehidupan seharian kita. Didalam era modern ini, haiwan berevolusi untuk menyesuaikan diri mereka dengan keadaan yang telah dicipta oleh manusia. Mereka adalah golongan super yang aku anggap hebat kerana mereka dapat mencari dimana pelosok pun tempat tinggal, makanan dan kehidupan diantara kesesakan besi dan batu simen.

Aku pernah terdengar tentang bagaimana kita boleh mengenal pasti sesuatu tempat itu akan keadaan ekosistem atau keliarannya dengan memerhatikan haiwan yang masih menetap dikawasan tersebut. Walaupun haiwan boleh berevolusi, terdapat banyak tempat yang sudah tidak lagi dapat di diami oleh mereka. Ini adalah benar melihat pencemaran yang tidak pernah putus membabitkan manusia dan ciptaan mereka.

Bagi aku, kita perlu selalu mengenalpasti apakah yang kita perlukan didalam kehidupan kita dengan penuh kesedaran tentang apakah kesan sampingan daripada pilihan kita itu. Manusia adalah mahluk kompleks yang mempunyai keupayaan tidak terbatas kerana manusia mempunyai akal dan nafsu. Disebabkan hal ini, kemahuan dan keperluan diciptakan untuk mendefinasi kehidupan.

Kita semua sedang mencari erti kebahagiaan didalam kehidupan. Ada yang memperolehinya dengan harta. Ada yang melihat jauh daripada hal material untuk mengenal apa itu cinta. Hidup ini satu ujian dan cabaran. Ada yang sanggup menelitinya dari perspektif yang berbeza dari umum untuk lebih memahami konsep kehidupan dari yang sedia ada. Kita semua mahu merasa "lengkap" tetapi ini ada satu hal yang mustahil kerana akal dan nafsu. Dengan menyedari apa itu keperluan dan apa itu kemahuan, mungkin kita dapat sedikit sebanyak mengawal kesan dua perkara ini.

Akibat ketidaksempuraan manusia, kita acapkali lupa untuk menganalisa hal-hal yang sering menjadi tabiat dan norma dalam kehidupan kita ini. Limitasi ini lah sering melalaikan kita dari berfikir secara dialektik.

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